


in memory of me

by orphan_account



Category: Dirk Gently's Holistic Detective Agency (TV 2016)
Genre: Angst, Dirk Gently is dead, Funerals, Ghosts, I mean, M/M, Todd Brotzman gets a ghost bf, is it legal to tag this as fluff, it comes in later but still
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-01-12
Updated: 2019-01-12
Packaged: 2019-10-08 14:59:04
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,095
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17388530
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/orphan_account/pseuds/orphan_account
Summary: “I just need a minute. Alone,” Todd says quietly.“You’re sure?”“Yeah. I’ll be fine, Farah,” his voice wobbles.Farah nods and heads back to her car where Amanda waits for her.Dirk watches Todd’s face morph from stoic to sorrowful, his eyes suddenly wet and red. He lets the sunflowers he held drop onto Dirks coffin. His favourite.“I’m sorry I wasn’t there for you,”“It’s okay,” Dirk says. He knows he can’t hear him, but he can at least pretend. Todd was there for him, perhaps not when he died, but before that. Nobody had ever been there for him like Todd had.“I didn’t even get to tell you. I lo-“ Todd sobs and wipes away tears with the palm of his hand.”





	in memory of me

“I just need a minute. Alone,” Todd says quietly.

“You’re sure?”

“Yeah. I’ll be fine, Farah,” his voice wobbles.

Farah nods and heads back to her car where Amanda waits for her.

Dirk watches Todd’s face morph from stoic to sorrowful, his eyes suddenly wet and red. He lets the sunflowers he held drop onto Dirks coffin. His favourite.

“I’m sorry I wasn’t there for you,”

“It’s okay,” Dirk says. He knows he can’t hear him, but he can at least pretend. Todd _was_ there for him, perhaps not when he died, but before that. Nobody had ever been there for him like Todd had.

“I didn’t even get to tell you. I lo-“ Todd sobs and wipes away tears with the palm of his hand.” 

Dirk sits on his own tombstone, “I know,”

He knows. It’s unspoken, but he knows. Dirk didn’t get to tell him either.

“I’m going to miss you. I won’t forget you, I promise,” Todd says softly, more tears rolling down his cheeks.

Dirk wishes he knew he was here. He’s always going to be there. He’s always going to be by Todds side. He wishes he knew that more than anything.

A raven lands on a distant tree.

“Fuck. This is bullshit. How could the universe let this happen!” Todd crosses his arms, his shoulders tense. 

That’s a question Dirk never thought about asking. How _could_ the universe let this happen? What’s its plan now? Now that he’s gone? Well, not really gone. Just not physically existing. He wishes Todd knew that.

He grieves everything he didn’t get to do. He didn’t get to experience everything he really wanted, hell, he didn’t even get to watch his agency thrive! 

He most grieves the loss of his friends, even though they lost him. What is he going to do now? Just wander around? Lost?

God, he really is lost now isn’t he? What is he even still doing here? Isn’t he supposed to be in heaven or something? 

“I don’t know what I’m gonna do without you, Dirk,” Todd sounds just as lost as him. “I’m so sorry,” He weeps.

He feels electricity in the air. Todd must notice too, because he looks up from where he buried his face in his hands.

More ravens gather in the graveyard.

Todd lets out a shaky breath, shrugging it off at an oncoming storm.

“I love you.” He whispers.

Dirk knew, but he never thought he’d ever hear it. If he were still alive, he’d swear he felt himself blush. A profound wave of sadness washes over him knowing he’ll never hear it again.

“Bye,”

Dirk looks up quickly, his eyes wide, as he watches Todd turn away, “Wait!” he stands up.

Todd stops.

That’s weird.

Dirk is _dead_. How did he...

“ _Dirk...?_ ” He turns around.

“ _Todd._ ”

Todd’s face turns white before he passes out.

 

 

Dirk waits outside of his hospital room. The others didn’t see him as they walked by him and into his room, so he waits for them to leave so that they don’t think he’s crazy if he starts trying to talk to him. It seems they already think he’s crazy though.

“Farah, I swear I saw him!” He hears from inside the room.

“Todd...”

“Amanda, you believe me right?” Todd asks fretfully.

He doesn’t hear Amanda answer.

The door suddenly swings open. Amanda walks out quickly with her hand covering her mouth, tear tracks down her cheeks. He hears nothing else from the room before Farah walks out after her before the door can shut.

Dirk peers into the room and sees Todd looking down at his hands.

“Hello?” Dirk says softly, walking into the room. Todd looks up. “Please don’t pass out again,” he says quickly.

Todd smiles and laughs a little, sitting up straight, “I knew I wasn’t going crazy,”

“Yup, I’m here. “

Todd frowns, “I don’t get it, though, I- you were dead...they called me in to identify your body,”

“Well, the others didn’t see me when they walked by, so I assume I’m a...ghost? A poltergeist?”

“Well, how can I see you? How are you here?”

Dirk purses his lips and shrugs. He walks to the edge of Todd’s bed and sits down. “That’s a good question, Todd,” he says. Todd watches the bed dip. “I don’t think the universe is done with me, yet,”

Todd stays silent. Dirk turns his head from where he was looking out the window, “Todd?”

“How- you-...you’re a ghost,“

“It appears so, yes,” 

“So how are you- you’re not...transparent or anything...” Todd reaches a hand out to him.

Dirk stares at his hand. He reaches his out, fully expecting their hands to pass through each other. They don’t. Todd’s eyes widen. 

“You’re so cold,” he says as their fingers intertwine.

“I suppose that’s what happens when you’re a ghost. Or doesn’t- I haven’t known ghosts to be physical- in movies I mean, I don’t actually know any ghosts,”

Todd smiles again, softer this time, “I _have_ to be hallucinating this,”

“I don’t think you are, Todd,”

A minute passes as Dirk strokes Todd’s hand with his thumb.

“Did you hear anything? After the funeral?” Todd asks.

“All of it,”

“Oh,” he says, “I didn’t think I’d ever get to tell you that I-“

The door opens and Todd drops his hand immediately. Farah walks in, “The doctors say they’re gonna keep you in for a day just in case. Amanda and I are gonna head out, will you be okay here alone for a while?” She asks.

Todd looks at Dirk from the corner of his eye, “Yeah, I’ll be fine,”

“Okay. That’s good-“

“Can you tell Amanda that I’m sorry I upset her, please?”

“Will do.” She nods, “And Todd- I know this is hard for you, it’s hard for all of us, but you-“ She takes in a breath, “I’m sorry,”

“It’s okay,”

She breathes out slowly, “Okay.” She nods, “Okay.” and heads out the room. 

They let another minute pass before speaking, just to be sure Farah left completely.

“I didn’t think I’d ever get to tell you that I love you,” Todd says quickly, “That’s what I was going to say,” 

“I know. And I love you too,”

Todd smiles. He seems to smiling a lot, which is pretty odd considering his best friend/newly established lover is dead. Or not. Not completely at least.

“Do you think a ghost and a living person have ever gotten married?”

“I don’t know why I expected you to change in death.”

**Author's Note:**

> so here it is yall, todd brotzman getting a ghost bf. i almost cried while writing this but that’s just me and my sensitive ass, u know how it is :)))) this was sort of inspired by the dont fear the reaper cover from the scream soundtrack, idk why but it just got me writing it


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